Programmers' Tools - Flog

Hu is the new leader

Thu, 4 Sep 2008 14:08:43 -0700

(Musica. Beep.)

Secretary: - Mr. President, Condoleeza Rice is here to see you.
George B. : - Good, send her in.
Secretary: - Yessir.

(Hangs up. Condi enters.)

Condoleeza: - Good morning, Mr. President.
George B. : - Oh Condoleeza, nice to see you. What's happening?
Condoleeza : - Well, Mr. President, I have the report here about the new leader in China.
George B. : - Great, Condi. Lay it on me.
Condoleeza : - Mr. President, Hu is the new leader of China.
George B. : - Well, that's what I want to know.
Condoleeza : - But that's what I'm telling you, Mr. President.
George B. : - Well, that's what I'm asking you, Condie. Who is the new leader of China?
Condoleeza : - Yes.
George B. : - I mean the fellow's name.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The guy in China.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The new leader of China.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The Chinaman!
Condoleeza : - Hu is leading China, Mr. President.
George B. : - Whaddya' asking me for?
Condoleeza : - I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George B. : - Well, I'm asking you, Condie. Who is leading China?
Condoleeza : - That's the man's name.
George B. : - That's who's name?
Condoleeza : - Yes.

(Pause.)

George B. : - Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condoleeza : - That's correct.
George B. : - Then who is in China?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir is in China?
Condoleeza : - No, sir.
George B. : - Then who is?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir?
Condoleeza : - No, sir.

(Pause. Crumples paper)

George B. : - Condi, you're starting to piss me off now, and it's not 'cause you're black neither. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. So why don't you get me the Secretary General of the United Nations on the phone.
Condoleeza : - Kofi Annan?
George B. : - No, thanks. And Condi, call me George. Stop with that ebonics crap.
Condoleeza : - You want Kofi?
George B. : - No.
Condoleeza : - You don't want Kofi.
George B. : - No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Not Yassir! The guy at the United Nations.
Condoleeza : - Kofi?
George B. : - Milk! Will you please make that call?
Condoleeza : - And call who?
George B. : - Well, who is the guy at the U.N?
Condoleeza : - No, Hu is the guy in China.
George B. : - Will you stay out of China?!
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condoleeza : - Kofi.
George B. : - All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condoleeza : - Hello. Rice, here.
George B. : - Rice? Good idea. And get a couple of egg rolls, too, Condi. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get chinese food in the Middle East? I don't know.

(Door slam. Musica.)

It's just your mind

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 13:12:02 -0800

Grande Reportagem "Flags" campaign

Fri, 25 Aug 2006 00:43:39 -0700

Grande Reportagem is a Portuguese news magazine that is recognised for its investigative reports and excellent photo-journalism. In 2004 the magazine switched from being an independent monthly publication to a weekly supplement in the Saturday edition of the daily national newspaper DiÃ¡rio de NotÃcias, owned by the same publishing company.

Jokes

Sun, 18 Jun 2006 15:29:39 -0700

Chirstmas story

There was a man who worked for the Post Office, whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came to his desk, addressed in a shaky handwriting, to God. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

He opened it and read:

Dear God,
I am a 93 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100.00 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope Can you please help me?

Sincerely,
Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all of the other workers.

Each of them dug into his wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96.00, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.

The rest of the day, all of the workers felt a warm glow for the kind thing they had done.

Christmas came and went A few days later, another letter came from the old lady, to God. All of the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:

Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.

By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have been those thieving bastards at the Post Office.

Creative ads - Mazda recreates art

Fri, 14 Apr 2006 08:32:47 -0700

Celebrities painted

Wed, 12 Apr 2006 07:43:05 -0700

Smirnoff

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 02:45:56 -0800

Everybody wants to be a dog

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 23:54:40 -0800

Smoke

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 00:53:36 -0800

The Invisible Man

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 03:32:47 -0800

It's just your mind II

Fri, 3 Mar 2006 13:35:46 -0800

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Reading HUMO can have serious consequences

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 04:55:12 -0800

Childhope Asia

Sun, 22 Jan 2006 15:17:18 -0800

CHILDHOPE is an international, non-profit, non-political, non-sectarian organization whose principal purpose is to advocate for the cause of street children throughout the world. It works toward the liberation of the child from the suffering caused by working and living on the street.

Mario's tale

Wed, 4 Jan 2006 04:03:08 -0800

Mario, the superstar of Nintendo. Mario games exists for all Nintendo platforms, dated from the old NES, Gameboy time thru SNES, Nintendo 64 to the latest GameCube, DS. From the classic 2D side-scrolling (platform) to 3D jump-n-run, to kart racing ... Many game hacks have been made (over 100 hacks for the NES' Super Mario Bros 1), many parodies, pictures, clones... Even movies are made in honor of this star. For many of us, he is part of our childhood, and this thread is about him :).

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays...

Sat, 24 Dec 2005 11:19:57 -0800

...to all Protoolers. Wish you happiness, health and luck.

--kaparo